Everything in its place.

by ejfaulkner93

6:38pm March 1st

I have just eaten dinner which consisted of chicken, fetta and salad with a low carb dressing. I am having the usual regurgitation urges that I get after any thing that passes my oesophagus.

So today I woke up at 4am and got myself ready in 15 mins then I heated up the leftover Bolognese and vegetables from dinner last night and ate that with a coffee. I left for work at 4:40am for a 5am start.

My job is a produce delivery driver wherein I supply produce to local cafes, restaraunts, schools and the like. I guess I have a bit of freedom when I am out and about on the road and this gives me the opportunity to sabotage my day with bingeing behaviour.

Today wasn’t as bad as usual, I only stopped once to grab something to eat which I then purged once I got back to the depot. After I purged I was hungry again so I crossed the road to the corner store and bought a burger. It was 9:30am by this point. I find regulating my meals hard when I start at such an odd hour.

We happened to have a motivational business seminar on today which we were given prepacked lunches. I ate all of that but so far even after dinner I have only purged the once.

My title refers to the American speakers approach to everything in life and I felt that I already implicate a lot of his ways in my own life. He spoke about ‘lean’ living which means to simplify everday tasks to create excellence. So eliminating unnecessary behaviours to increase productivity. I feel in ways I am a perfectionist and I like to keep things decluttered and organised so this was a real boost to my motivation levels today in reassuring me that I can be a worthy, productive human.

Once the seminar was over I went to the gym despite the unenjoyable heat. I know that if I don’t get some exercise in then my mood spirals downwards and I feel more and more depressed and self loathing.

I came home in a good mood and did lots of cleaning and cooked for my partner and I.

Today was a much better day then yesterday.

Here is my food log for the day:

  • Bolognese and vegetables (large portion)
  • Orange and poppyseed muffin
  • Chicken, Bacon, Cheese and Tomato burger
  • Dinner roll with silverside and salad
  • 2 Finger sandwiches with ham and relish
  • Apple
  • Small bag of nuts
  • Small cup of icecream
  • Chicken and fetta salad